D-List

By Laura P. Valtorta

Official Book Club Selection by Kathy Griffin (Ballantine Books, 2009) is the best biography I’ve read since Haruki Murakami’s What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, and Murakami Is a genius. This includes Einstein, by Walter Isaacson (which I stopped reading when I discovered that Albert collaborated on all his great writings with his first wife, Milena Maric, who never got any credit).

I love Kathy Griffin. She dates Steve Wozniak, fucks Jack Black, makes fun of religion, does not drink alcohol, and gets banned from talk shows and the Apollo Theater in Harlem. Who could ask for more?

I watch “My Life on the D-List” on Bravo, I watch all her stand-up comedy specials (“Everybody can Suck It.”) and I remember her from Seinfeld (“Jerry Seinfeld is the devil”) and "Suddenly Susan." Clara and I saw her show in Atlanta last year, in person. She puts down everybody. She’s just irreverent enough, and she laughs at herself. Her stories about Oprah are hilarious.

Kathy is not perfect. She straightened her hair. She abused her body with liposuction and plastic surgery. It's too bad that Hollywood induced her to abuse herself like that. Einstein had great hair, and he didn't mess with that.

Official Book Club Selection is Super Griffin material. It describes her rocky road to stardom. It spotlights the hypocrisy. It highlights the sexism in show business. The chapter about her failed marriage to Matt comes across as real. The entire book is real. There is no ghost writer involved. Just Kathy, telling everybody to suck it.