MISTAKES

Dog Lover, a hyperactive, driven person, made a statement on Facebook that he rarely makes the same mistake twice. We were discussing a spelling error, but I got thinking that the word “mistake’ is a fluid term, and I don’t fully understand what it means to “make a mistake.” Here are some of my definitions.

1. LOSING MY WAY. Like taking the wrong Peachtree Street in Atlanta, I often do destructive things that diverge from the pathway to my important goals. Trying to be an okay mother by teaching my children to be responsible and kind. Getting more fiction into print. Writing a decent screenplay. Helping my clients. Appreciating my husband. Calling him “Ocram.” because he’s funny.

Whenever I divert from these goals, I regret it and I don’t regret it at the same time. I see my goals more clearly. Maybe I gain some empathy. I become more human. So where is the mistake?

2. INSULTING PEOPLE. This is my worst mistake. I do it all the time when I feel like a cornered rat. This hurts people unnecessarily. If somebody can show me how to stop, please do. Boxing matches diffuse some of this feeling. (White Rock Boxing needs to welcome me in; I don't care if there's gambling.) Exercise helps. The cornered rat feeling encourages me to exercise. And exercise is good.

3. BREAKING A RULE. One of the rules in practicing law is that an attorney should never represent a friend. It’s a basic conflict of interest. You love your friends, and the emotion gets in the way of the law.

I broke this rule at least three times. The first time, things turned out well. The second time, it was the most disastrous case of my career and nearly destroyed me. The third time, I won the case easily and cleverly, and my friendship grew stronger. Which of these was a mistake? I learned tons from the second and third experiences.

4. MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE. When I worked out at Crooked Creek Park it was the wrong choice. The people there were too old. The clientele was very homogenous. I got bored easily and reverted to mistake number 2 – insulting people. But while I was there, I lost 35 pounds out of sheer boredom. So was it a mistake? Not likely.

Maybe the definition of mistake is “learning experience.”

Modern Day Christmas

By Dante B. Valtorta (December 2010)

Families joyfully running around

Claiming to keep the Christmas tradition in mind

Instead wanting everything they can get

PS3s, Xbox 360s, and Kinects

People getting money, a small portion are having to work

Others eat dinner and see movies

Families running around

Claiming to keep the Christmas tradition in mind.

BEELZEBUBBA

By Laura P. Valtorta (11/21/2010)

Supporter of States’ Rights,

God, and Football,

(Not in that order),

He

wears his hat indoors,

hiding thinning graying hair

of Cherokee

denied (Oh, God, make me White)

and the flat slant-eyed

Face,

Drinker of microbrew,

Shadow mind that craves the outdoors

tree-hugger, pen of dogs

“My Wife is Blond and

so are my raven-haired kids.”

Weekends he gets away in Volkswagen

Bus (it’s okay if my

Friends smoke weed, and me,

but not the Northern

Liberal Rival Devil)

Also countrybred,

Who

Pays taxes, no questions

Revels in my Diversity denied;

Make me White, God, Please make me

Superior.

ALL OUR PARANOIA

The most poignant thing about “The Social Network,” directed by David Fincher and written by Aaron Sorkin, is that the chief inventor of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg (brilliantly potrayed by Jesse Eisenberg), is a social failure. He can’t stop belittling people, especially the people he loves such as his girlfriend and his best buddy, and intellectual snobbery controls his life. Zuckerberg has valid reasons for his condescending attitude: he’s a computer genius with insight into what drives society. He’s brilliant on line. He just can’t play the game on the street.

After a Wednesday Movie Nite, my group had a heated discussion about who deserved the profits from Facebook. Obviously, Zuckerberg drives the inception of the company. But the movie clearly illustrates that Eduardo Saverin plays a roll, as does Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake), possibly my favorite character, who fresh from the collapse of Napster, has a vision for how Facebook should grow nationally and internationally, and where seed money can be found. He’s a lush and a degenerate with vision and brains.

My friends disagreed about the Winklevoss brothers – rowing team giants at Harvard, identical twins, gentlemen with a load of family money, and the slapstick clowns of the story. Did they deserve credit for coming up with part of an idea at the beginning – an internet social network limited to Harvard students? And what about their Indian friend, Divi? None of my movie-fanatic friends liked these characters. There is a prejudice against old money in the United States, because we Americans are all supposed to be self-made. But rich people can have ideas, even if they don’t know how to program.

“The Social Network” operates well at many levels, first as a story of technology and new business, secondly as a psychology lesson. It highlights the mistakes, fears, and paranoia of all these entrepreneurs. The movie is personal. I saw myself in every one of the characters. I felt every triumph and catastrophe in my gut. I delved inside these characters, despite their blatant misogyny. I wish I could friend them all on Facebook.

Tough Week Ahead

This will be a difficult week. How can I face trouble at work? Stress-related illness, a false friend betraying me, and visiting my father who is very ill with brain cancer? Family helps. Real friends help. Going to the beach this weekend and writing was excellent medicine.

How does everyone else handle crises?

GET LOW

How does a person handle deep, irrational love that envelopes the body and spirit and won’t let go? How can anyone prevent such a love from causing destruction?

What is the best way to ask for forgiveness?

These are the questions posed by the Robert Duvall movie Get Low, directed by Aaron Schneider and written by Chris Provenzano.

In 1920s small town American, Duvall portrays Felix Bush, a hirsute hermit with a secret past. Felix wakes from a 40-year funk and decides to orchestrate his own funeral and attend it as the main speaker. He is assisted in this plan by Buddy Robinson, sweetly acted by Lucas Black. Black, as a young boy played the lead opposite Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade.

Times are hard in a flapper, Model T sort of way. Bill Murray, as Frank Quinn, the sarcastic funeral director, laments “Everywhere in the world people are dying. Everywhere but here.” He finds Felix fascinating because Felix has a big greasy wad of money to spend on a funeral “party.” If Felix can pay, Quinn can arrange anything.

In Duvall sinner-saint fashion, reminiscent of The Apostle, Felix turns the tables on everyone. “Am I the only one,” Quinn asks, “who has noticed this guy is extremely articulate when he wants to be?”

Suspense builds as the date of the funeral nears. Felix rekindles a romance with Mattie (Sissie Spacek). He travels to Illinois to visit Rev. Charlie Jackson (Bill Cobbs) a preacher who would rather stay fixed in his quiet life and play dominoes.

This is a yin/yang story. Nobody wastes time polishing a halo. Good and evil are intertwined, and the world exists in purgatory. The answer is honesty. Felix must learn to ask for forgiveness in order to forgive himself.

THE POWER OF BLOGGING

by Laura P. Valtorta

In China these days, bloggers are able to evade authority and exercise more free speech than traditional journalists. This is partly because bloggers use pseudonyms. Chinese authorities tend to quash any criticism of the government. Chinese blogs persist at this point, but the Chinese government would like to force contributors to register under their true names.

The 17 June 2010 issue of Avvenire, (a Catholic newspaper I tend to read in Italy because the writing is simpler than in other newspapers) contained an article about Han Han, a 27-year-old blogger on Sina.org who is followed by 300 million readers. Han apparently has a lot to say about the recent killings of schoolchildren in China and the inability of the government to prevent these killings. Avvenire, being Catholic, emphasized that most modern Chinese families have only one child, because that is all the law allows, and the loss of a child in China is therefore particularly harsh. But the death of a schoolchild is always horrific.

Most newspapers are biased. Most forms of writing, whether fiction or non-fiction espouse a particular point of view. The Chinese government apparently slants news in favor of the communist party. In Italy, journalists make no secret of their bias, writing for newspapers that are communist or Catholic or Christian Democrat and pointing the news in that direction. Avvenire, like the Catholic Church, would have us produce as many children as possible, regardless of the effect on the environment, because the Church wants more members. The Church wants to keep women in line. They dislike the fact that Italy, a crowded country, has a negative birth rate. Italy, unlike the United States, is beginning to control its pollution problem. Maybe the Church doesn’t like that, either.

Writing is powerful weapon. Anyone who writes should realize that they do influence readers and change their lives. Anyone who reads should likewise keep in mind that they expose themselves to manipulation and mendacity