MISTAKES

Dog Lover, a hyperactive, driven person, made a statement on Facebook that he rarely makes the same mistake twice. We were discussing a spelling error, but I got thinking that the word “mistake’ is a fluid term, and I don’t fully understand what it means to “make a mistake.” Here are some of my definitions.

1. LOSING MY WAY. Like taking the wrong Peachtree Street in Atlanta, I often do destructive things that diverge from the pathway to my important goals. Trying to be an okay mother by teaching my children to be responsible and kind. Getting more fiction into print. Writing a decent screenplay. Helping my clients. Appreciating my husband. Calling him “Ocram.” because he’s funny.

Whenever I divert from these goals, I regret it and I don’t regret it at the same time. I see my goals more clearly. Maybe I gain some empathy. I become more human. So where is the mistake?

2. INSULTING PEOPLE. This is my worst mistake. I do it all the time when I feel like a cornered rat. This hurts people unnecessarily. If somebody can show me how to stop, please do. Boxing matches diffuse some of this feeling. (White Rock Boxing needs to welcome me in; I don't care if there's gambling.) Exercise helps. The cornered rat feeling encourages me to exercise. And exercise is good.

3. BREAKING A RULE. One of the rules in practicing law is that an attorney should never represent a friend. It’s a basic conflict of interest. You love your friends, and the emotion gets in the way of the law.

I broke this rule at least three times. The first time, things turned out well. The second time, it was the most disastrous case of my career and nearly destroyed me. The third time, I won the case easily and cleverly, and my friendship grew stronger. Which of these was a mistake? I learned tons from the second and third experiences.

4. MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE. When I worked out at Crooked Creek Park it was the wrong choice. The people there were too old. The clientele was very homogenous. I got bored easily and reverted to mistake number 2 – insulting people. But while I was there, I lost 35 pounds out of sheer boredom. So was it a mistake? Not likely.

Maybe the definition of mistake is “learning experience.”